# The 3 core skills that every person needs for healthy romantic relationships
source: https://ift.tt/w5Cb8oZ tags: #relationships #literature —
The first skill is insight. “Insight is about awareness and understanding and learning,” says Davila. “With insight, you’ll have a better idea of who you are, what you need, what you want, and why you do the things you do.” For example, let’s say you’re being really testy with your partner. If you possess insight, she says, “you might notice or realize that it’s not that your partner is doing anything; it’s actually that you’re really stressed out at work, and what you really need is to relax a little bit so it doesn’t bleed into your relationship.”
The second skill is mutuality. “Mutuality is about knowing that both people have needs and that both sets of needs matter,” says Davila. “With mutuality, you’ll be able to convey your own needs in a clear direct fashion; that increases the likelihood you’ll get them met.”
Emotion regulation means developing the ability to manage those moments when you might worry or snap. Davila gives the example of waiting for a text back from your partner: “That text isn’t coming. You’re getting really anxious. You’re checking your phone every two seconds. With emotion regulation, you’ll be able to tell yourself, ‘You know what? Calm down — the text is going to come. I don’t need to check my phone every second. I’m just going to put it away and focus on the task at hand.’”